Taylor Chapel to host MarriageCare Retreat

  • Published
  • By Chaplain Capt. Joel Kornegay
  • 17th Training Wing Chapel
GOODFELLOW AIR FORCE BASE, Texas --  The Taylor Chapel team is preparing to present the third MarriageCare retreat for Team Goodfellow, May 18-20 at the Flying L Ranch in Bandera, Texas.
 
The registration fee is $20 per couple, and childcare is provided for 3 to12- year-olds at the ranch.
 
Priority for registration for this retreat will be for those preparing to deploy or recently returned from deployment. However, all interested couples (regardless of deployment status) should come by the chapel to register soon, as space is limited.

We have been blessed to serve Team Goodfellow with these retreats. Our May event is the second of three planned for this fiscal year. We track marital satisfaction for the couples that attend, and surveys of the 54 couples who have come indicate more than a 20 percent increase in marital satisfaction as a result of attending. For many couples, talking through issues like forgiveness, communication, expressing and receiving love was the most beneficial aspect. Some of the couples indicated that they had never talked about these topics before.

After presenting three of these retreats, we've learned some valuable lessons from the couples that have attended that are keys to marital health:

1.) Married couples need "couple time" - time focused on one another, building bridges of communication and trust. Unfortunately, many couples don't have the luxury of carving that out of an already packed schedule. Between the demands of children, work and extracurricular activities, couples today are stressed to the maximum. When couples are being stretched and discretionary time is limited, often couple time is the first thing that's compromised.

At the retreat, we intentionally build this time into our schedule. Child care is provided for couples who bring children, and couples are encouraged to take a few hours of one-on-one time with their spouse, talking through the topics discussed in the sessions. We also strongly encourage couples to build "couple time" into their schedules once they return home, making it a priority. We also teach them creative ways to build it in even with a packed schedule.

2.) Couples tell us that they know that conflict in marriage is a given. No married couple can say they don't argue if they're being realistic. But they want to learn how to practice healthy conflict resolution skills, so that they can work through issues and not allow them to linger. Unresolved conflict leads to wedges between husband and wife that can lead to great chasms if not addressed effectively.

MarriageCare provides opportunities for couples to learn and begin practicing skills to more effectively resolve conflict. We talk through the skills, and then invite couples to work through an issue or two using the skills they are taught. This is done through one-on-one interaction between husband and wife, and not in a group setting. The goal is for couples to learn how to practice healthy conflict resolution with each other, not to disclose their shortcomings to a room full of couples.

3.) We are often asked what kind of couple should attend the retreat. Should it be marriages in trouble? Should it be couples with a great marriage? Should it be for newlyweds or those who have been married for decades? The answer we give is that marriages across the spectrum of health need a weekend like MarriageCare.

We believe that all couples must continually make investments in their marital health. We've had couples that were in crisis attend. We've had couples making a significant lifestyle change ("empty nest") that understood a retreat would help them refocus and renew their relationships.

On one hand, we've had couples who were married the week before the retreat who used it to build a solid foundation for a lifetime together. On the other hand, my wife and I have been married over 20 years, and these retreats are as much for us as for the participants.

If you've not been on a MarriageCare retreat yet, I encourage you to register soon for this one. You will be making an investment in your marriage that will pay dividends for the rest of your life.