Retreat focuses on renewing, revitalizing marriage

  • Published
  • By Connie Hempel
  • 17th Training Wing Public Affairs
GOODFELLOW AIR FORCE BASE, Texas --  Sixteen couples took a weekend escape Aug. 26-29 to Bandera, Texas, with the base Chapel during the first Goodfellow MarriageCare Retreat.

The weekend allowed couples a few days to focus on each other, renewing and revitalizing their marriage. Couples married for as little as six weeks to as long as 20 years participated in the retreat.

"This weekend was important especially for military couples because of the strain the military lifestyle can set on them," said Chaplain (Capt.) Joel Kornegay, 17th Training Wing Chapel. "Just being able to get away and remember what their wedding vows mean can strengthen a relationship."

Focusing on traditional wedding vows, the chaplain offered four sessions during the weekend: "I, take you," "To Have and to Hold," "For Better or Worse," and "To Love and to Cherish."

Group discussions centered on how each person was in the beginning and how opposites may have attracted them to each other, and then how people tend to either get tired of those differences as time goes on, or how they simply change. They focused on the fact that regardless of changes, their vows were a promise made to each other to accept one another even with differences.

"It's a fact that we are all different," Kornegay said. "But, couples need to focus on what's good about their spouse, hold on to that through the good and the bad, and support each other no matter how frustrating that may be."

And that's what the weekend MarriageCare Retreat was created to do.

"Our goal was to encourage couples to recognize the differences between men and women, to learn to value each other, and to learn how to resolve conflict in healthy ways," Kornegay said.

The weekend concluded with a few tears shed as couples stood eye-to-eye, repeating traditional wedding vows to one another.

"This time last year my wife and I were ready to get divorced," said one of the participants. "The information provided here was the same information that was the foundation in our one-on-one counseling sessions, which saved our marriage. Had we done something similar to this retreat earlier on in our marriage, I don't think we would have gotten to the point where we needed counseling."

And although he's learned these tools before, Kauffung said it's always good to hear it again.

"It really helped put it in the forefront," he said. "It's like riding a bike; you get rusty if you don't practice it. For this reason I think it'll help not just those with troubled marriages, but also those that already have strong relationships."

Chantelle Girley said the retreat taught her how to better communicate with her husband.

"I learned that unless I am speaking my husband's 'language,' I am not effectively communicating with him," she said. "We have completely different personalities, so what I require from him and what he requires from me may be two different things. The retreat gave me the skills to communicate with my spouse in a way that he can understand and appreciate."

With each session lasting about an hour, couples were afforded time to take what they learned during the sessions, and spend time alone to further their discussions. They were also able to enjoy the resort's activities: a water park, horseback riding, wagon rides, a western-style shootout dinner show, and a campfire with s'mores.