Discipline vs. Punishment

  • Published
  • By Karen Bartholomeo
  • 17th Medical Group, Family Advocacy Outreach Manager
GOODFELLOW AIR FORCE BASE, Texas --  "Some parents confuse discipline with punishment," said Family Advocacy Treatment manager Bill Chidichimo, a licensed clinical social worker who teaches the Common Sense Parenting class here.

Mr. Chidichimo went on to explain that physical punishment has negative effects on children.

"It often teaches them that the parents have the power to hurt them and that it's OK for the bigger, stronger person to hurt the smaller, weaker person," he added. "That's not a healthy life lesson. Effective discipline, on the other hand, can make the child think about his misbehavior and help parents and children find solutions to create more positive behavior next time,"

Leisa Lloyd, the Family Advocacy nurse who teaches Common Sense Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers stated "Punishment is degrading and hurtful, while discipline involves teaching the child."

The four-session 'Parenting Young Children' class, which is for parents of children below 6 years, promotes the STAR method: Stop, Think, Ask, Respond, she added.

"Stop, Think about their own (the parents') thoughts and feelings about the event, Ask themselves if their expectations of the child are reasonable in this situation, and then Respond to the child," Ms. Lloyd stated. "The goal is to slow down the action, lengthen the response time and allow parents a chance to think things out rather than impulsively react in anger."

With young children, Ms. Lloyd advises selecting from one of several responses.

"They can redirect the child into another safe, non-destructive activity, simply ignore the behavior, such as whining or allow the child to experience the natural consequences of their behavior, assuming the child will not be endangered in any way," she said. "The fourth choice is to impose a 'Time Out' or 'Quiet Time'. 'Time Outs' should be in a consistent designated location, when possible and should last no longer than one minute for each year of the child's age."

Ms. Lloyd said that 'Quiet Time' differs, in that it may be longer and can involve just removing the child from the problem situation and allowing time for all parties to calm down.

The important aspect of effective discipline is that the parents develop a strategy to correct the challenging behavior.

"Discipline is a strategy to teach a child new behaviors," Mr. Chidichimo stated. "With punishment, the parent is the only one controlling things but children need to learn how to control their own behaviors. They must learn to be in charge of their actions and how to channel their behavior in a positive direction."
Common Sense Parenting, Common Sense Parenting of Toddlers and Preschoolers and Parenting With Love and Logic classes are offered at the 17 MDG and open to anyone who can access the base.

For more information call (325)-654-3122.